Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

A dilemma

I don't usually get that angry with my family. Seriously, everyone loves my parents. Both Corb and Josie have said on multiple occasions that they wish my parents were there's. I know I'm lucky.

Really, the only person I've ever had huge problems with in years is my sister Laurie, but even that has kind of gotten better this past year. We've become civil to each other, and I was starting to feel better about our relationship.

That kind of changed today. As we were relaxing before dinner, the subject of mother's day came up. "Oh, we're not having mother's day this year," my Dad told me.

What? "Why not," I asked, kind of surprised.

"Your sisters are taking us to Disney World that week," was his reply. "I meant to tell you about it a few weeks ago, but you were busy at the time and it slipped my mind.", I'm not going to get to see my mother on mother's day because my sisters decided to take her away somewhere and no one thought it was important enough to tell me about? Maybe even...I don't know, this is crazy, invite me to go along? At least, give me the opportunity?

My brother, it turns out, did know about it. "They told me, and I had the same reaction as you," he said. "I wanted to go and said they might want to make it a whole family thing. The next day I learned they bought the tickets without asking me."

I'm not sure who got the worse deal: me, for not knowing anything, or Tommy, for knowing and then deliberately being excluded. My sister Kerrie was at dinner, and my dad told her that I was upset, so she came over and asked why I was angry. "We didn't think you would have the money to go, anyway," she said.

"It would have been nice to have been given the chance to make that decision myself," I replied.

"Well, fine!" she said, sounding irritated. "You're invited now. Can you come?"

Well, wait... now we are talking four weeks away, as opposed to six or seven weeks away. Everything's probably going to be more expensive, including flight, hotel fare, etc. Especially during mother's day week-end!

"I knew he was going to get angry and take it all out on me," I overheard her say behind my back later on.

I mean, maybe she's right about that. Maybe I should be mad at my parents, too, because they clearly knew and didn't tell me. Laurie I expect this from. She is so self-centered and thoughtless that this one's no surprise at all, even though, get this: she is mad at our aunt because she traveled to Boston for a wedding her son was having and felt it was inconsiderate that they neglected to invite her to the rehearsal dinner the night before. This seems to be to be a hundred times more inconsiderate.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reacting this way because going to Disney with my parents has always been a dream of mine. In fact, I brought the subject up with them a year ago, as something I'd really like to do with them. So maybe the thought that that's been taken away from me makes it even more of a sensitive subject, aside from the fact I won't see my mom on mother's day. Because let's face it, if I brought it up again, a year from now, their reaction is surely going to be, "Oh, well, we did that last year with your sisters..."

Any suggestions on how to handle this one? I don't want it to become a wedge issue, but I can feel it becoming that already with me. How can I keep my cool? Josie suggested having an alternative mother's day without my sisters, which is a great idea, but it's still going to hurt my feelings terribly (I just know) when I have to see all the fun they had that I wasn't allowed to participate in! Not sure how to deal with this one. I know it's not the biggest thing in the world, but I do feel they were really thoughtless here.
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