So, we were leaving this fancy Italian restaurant in Norton last night, see, because Ashes said she was in the mood for a bit of chicken Florentine without the capons to celebrate her twentieth birthday. And we were totally full and caffeinated and laughing over nothing and heading back to the 'stang, just the three of us: me, Corb, and Ashes.
"Ashley Kathchadorian, stop falling behind," I called out, using my new favorite nickname for her.
"A girl lost her arms. Ashley Katchadorian, a girl just lost her flipping arms," called out Ashes, repeating one of our favorite lines from The Most Popular Girls in School, our new favorite YouTube series. "Do you not know what has--"
"Oh," said Corb.
The boy sitting in the driver's side of the car next to us looked up, surprised. He was about 21, and slightly on the beefy side. Not chubby, but more chubby muscular, with a mop of brown hair and dark smoldering eyes. From what I could see, he was naked from the waist up, but as we approached the car, he lifted up his strong arms and hurredly started to place a shirt over his head. It took him a while, as he fumbled around to find the hole to pull over his head, then bring the shirt down. He kept his head low, his eyes averted.
"Was he just changing?" I asked, as soon as we were leaving the parking lot.
"That's what it looked like," agreed Ashes. "Maybe he was going to work?"
"He was not changing his clothes," replied Corb.
"Why don't you think so?"
"What was going on?"
"I don't want to say..."
"Just spill it!"
Corb flashed a look Ashes' way. "Well, his hand was a little too busy before we got there..."
"You mean he was jerking off?"
"Oops, sorry." I grinned. As if wasn't anything she hadn't heard before. "I meant, pleasuring himself. I mean, really. You think?"
"Now, why would anybody be doing something like that?" I mused, as I pulled the 'stang onto the highway. "Are you sure he was alone in the car?"
"I would have been alone in the car with him," interjected Ashes.
"ASHES!" I screamed, playing the hypocritical father.
"I can assure you, there was absolutely nobody in that car with him."
"So this kid just decided to drive to a restaurant at around nine at night, drive into the parking lot, take off all his clothes and pleasure himself?" I shook my head. "That doesn't make any sense."
"He probably didn't think anyone would be around."
"But why take off all his clothes? Why not just pull in and do your thing with maybe your pants down? I mean, was getting naked really necessary?"
"It was for me," said Ashes from the back of the car.
"Ashes!!!" Then I smiled. "There you go, Ashes, dinner AND a show. Don't say I didn't give you anything for your birthday."
According to a recent poll, 24 percent of guys asked admitted to masturbating in their car, so I guess it's not that uncommon. The poll didn't provide any data on guys who liked to masturbate in their car at Italian restaurants completely naked, unfortunately. Still, I have to think that number is slightly lower. Personally, I don't see the attraction, but it certainly did give us a happy ending to our meal!