We were SUPPOSED to be buying Christmas presents for his folks at work. But before we went shopping, we were both starving, so we decided to go to eat. And we piggied out, there's no other way to describe it. Like hogs at the trough, we started at the salad bar, moved on to the main course, saved room (just barely) for dessert...
...and about a half an hour later, after shopping around for a bit at Wal-Mart and getting scared by the lines, and then heading off to Target, something bad started to happen. I mean, really bad.
Our stomachs started to get that queasy feeling that you get when you know you have to take a massive crap. Of course, that's happened before, but it's never really happened with such intensity at exactly the same time.
"Oh shit," said Corb, and he meant it. And then a sound came out of him and he quickly rolled down his window,
"Oh shit," I said, and quickly did the same.
By the time our car pulled into The Target parking lot, the car was like a Dutch oven, pungeant with odor, Both of us lurched out of the car. I was practically running to the door, holding my side, making crazy moaning noises, Corb was three steps behind me, laughing at how fast I was moving. We breezed our way into the store, made a beeline into the men's room, and then we...
Well, it's never happened before. Usually one of us will wait outside while the other person does his businesss. Even in the apartment, we run water if one of us is going to get particularly loud during our hours of diahretic distress. But this time around, neither of us could wait. The need was too great. So we ran into the stalls next to each other, pulled down our pants
And we let it RIP through us! And I have to say, I felt like a little kid, I was laughing so hard. We sat there, squirting out stuff from our asses and laughing hysterically.
"Mine is all hard and solid," groaned Corb.
"Mine is like egg drop soup," I croaked out, having trouble breathing.
After a while, to cover things up, Corb would start flushing his toilet whenever he was about to make a noise, and that would get me laughing again, and then I'd start flushing, and he'd start laughing. Then we started flushing unison, like a toilet symphony. Then, I realized I didn't have any toilet paper in my stall and he threw it over the top of the stall, and that got me laughing again...
It was a level of intimacy I have never experienced with another person. And while I don't ever want to have to experience it again, I have to admit, it felt completely liberating. It made me feel just a little bit closer to Corb, too.
So, want to add some spark to your love life, young lovers? I've got two words for you: oh, shit.