Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

Rainbow's end


Sitting here on our bed typing. One of our fans is blowing against my hairy legs, and as hot as the room is, the sensation is driving me crazy. The little hairs are just waving all around against my legs. That fan has to go!

**pauses to turn off fan**

There we go, much better. But now it's warm in the room. Dammit!

Anyway, I took the train to New York last night and returned home this afternoon, so I'm a little tired. The visit was worth it, though. I met our new big boss and she seems delightful. She has a thick British accent and looks like Rose's mom from Doctor Who and talks like Sharon Osborne. My biggest feeling was, "I want to work for this person!"

Also, spoke more with my boss about my possible promotion, and she spoke with her boss, and he said that he wasn't against it. So, she just has to figure out what needs to happen. So, it looks like I might be getting promoted...fingers crossed, though...we'll see what happens. Couldn't happen to a better guy, though, right?

**pauses to turn fan back on. Too damn hot!**

On the kid front, things seem to have calmed down significantly. We actually had a really good night tonight, filled with True Blood, those disgusting chicken nuggets (God, I hate those vile things!) and a half an hour of videos.' Ashes was her same old self tonight, and everyone got along just great.

**pauses to wash dishes, which I started doing and then was distracted by writing this post**

Anyway, nothing new has really been discussed, but honestly, I'm fine with that. I really wasn't looking for any "I love you, gay daddy" kind of moment. I wasn't looking to march in a Pride parade with my three kids. I wasn't even looking to decorate my living room in rainbows (yet.) I just wanted to get to the other side of the discussion, and then have things go back to NORMAL. Which is where we are.

I just wanted to be treated with the same level of disrespect that I was when they were in a blissful state of denial. Was that too much to ask?

Amber is afraid that if we ignore it, things will go back to the way they were, and that's not healthy for both of us. I'm not really sure I agree with the premise. You can't put the genie back in the bottle once it's out, after all. Ashes knows and she's discussed it with several people, and I think that's just fine. If she wants to discuss it more, with me, she can do so, when she's ready.

Corb's mom has taken Amber one step further. She thinks we need to hold a family meeting and discuss the whole thing. Both Corb and I vehemently disagree with that one. What's the point? I never see the benefit of family meetings, frankly. All they do is end up annoying everyone involved, and it's one hour of your life which could be better spent...I don't know, playing Words with Friends, or reading, or watching stupid videos on YouTube. Doing stupid, mundane, normal family things.

Does that mean I won't squirm next time Corb's grandmom goes on about how much she loves Corb and I as a couple, when the kids are around? Maybe, but honestly, I've done it before, and I'll do it in the future, regardless of how many family conversations we had. Does it mean I'll feel repressed because I can't hold Corb's hand with the kids around? Not really, because Corb hates public displays of affection, so that wouldn't happen anyway.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that every gay dad's idea of the end of the rainbow is different. It doesn't have to be all shiny and sparkly and in your face and talked about constantly, ad infinitum. It can simply be typing this post while Corb lays in bed next to me, while Ashes does her thing in her room and Theo plays X-Box in his.

That's my pot of gold, at the end of this rainbow. That's good enough for me.
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