Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

Stand Up and Be Counted!

On Thursday night, our fearless commander-in-chief went on television and made the inspiring claim that we weren't alone in Iraq! In fact, there are 36 other countries who have troops on the ground in Iraq, fighting tirelessly to help protect Dick Cheney's interests in oil and, ah, um...I mean, the freedom of this fledgling democracy.

There are some unpatriotic negative nellies, however, who are trying to dampen America's spirit, and actually have the nerve to question our fearless leader's claim of such international support. In fact, believe it or not, they actually claim that there are now fewer than 25 countries who still have a presence, including Great Britain (who are in the process of pulling out), Bulgaria (who have 150 non-combat troops), and Iceland (which has, like, one soldier there, who'll be leaving next month).

In an effort to be the good American that I am, knowing that the President would NEVER deliberately lie or mislead the American people, I have painstakingly researched the situation, and have found the missing countries that George Bush was referring to in his speech. Small in number they may be, but no one can dispute their bravery or dedication to the cause. And, as you can see, there's a perfectly legitimate reason why they may have been overlooked. Sleep tight, America!

1) Prisoners in the Phantom Zone, from the planet Krypton: These brave psychopathic convicts, who, as phantoms, have witnessed the stirring fight for freedom that the Bush administration has undertaken, have bravely volunteered to abandon their evil Kryptonian ways and don the colors of the red, white, and blue, to fight on our side. Just as long as Superman's not involved.
2) Space Ghost--This friendly visitor from outer space, is now using his power bands and talk-show hosting powers to wage war in Iraq.
3) Peter Pan and the Lost Boys from Never Never Land--Forget Wendy and Captain Hook. We've got a war to fight!
4) Michael Jackson and the Lost Boys from Neverland--Ever wonder where the deposed king of pop went after he successfully avoided criminal charges? He didn't go to Disneyworld, he went to Iraq, along with 16 of his bestest friends!
5) Wonder Woman and her Invisible plane from Paradise Island--Sometimes she even lets decorated war veteran Steve Trevor help her, too.
6) Cosmo and Wanda from the Fairy Odd-Parents from Fairy World--Timmy Turner has ordered these brave fairies to reign down terror and destruction...and, maybe a purple elephant or two.
7) The characters from Henrik Ibsen’s Ghosts--These brave Norwegian theater characters from the 1800s stopped fighting venereal disease--and started fighting Iraqui insurgents.
8) Bjork's Earth Intruders. These colorfully clad freaks are now taking their twigs and branches and using them to kick some Iraqi ass.
9) The Sims from Simland--They're not just a national sensation. They're a fierce fighting troop!
10) Harvey the Bunny and the Bunny Brigade--Jimmy Stewart's six feet tall pooka has proven a brave ally in the fight for freedom, and has even enlisted several imaginary bunny friends, including Roger Rabbit, Thumper and the fearsome Were-Rabbit.
11) Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends--Bloo, Wilt, and Eduardo have all taken up uzis and have been shipped to Baghdad. Madame Foster, too...she's a real pistol packing mama!

No, don't thank me, America. I'm just doing my job!
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded