Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

Visions of Yesterday's Sugarplums...

Well, I hope y'all had a good week-end.

On Friday, Corb and I went on our annual pilgrimage with the kids to a store that opens only around this time of year, to pick up one Christmas decoration for each of us. On Saturday, we decorated the tree, and I have to tell you, it’s a bit loaded down. We have an awful lot of decorations! Oliver seemed to be a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing, but he got over it. Last night, both Haley and Oliver went to bed underneath the tree.

On Sunday, I am pleased to report, I discovered it’s official: the group I’ve been directing for these past three years has found a new director for next year's show.

Well, I guess I finally made it clear that I wouldn't be directing this time around, so I could focus more on my writing. Still, I guess there’s a part of me that’s a little depressed about the whole thing. I’ve had many good memories there, and there’s that whole ego thing going on. But also, more than that, I'm excited about the future.

Anyway, talking about memories, I had a brainstorm on Friday night, and figured out the perfect gift for my mom. Of course, my mother’s never read my Live Journal postings, but from five years worth of stories, there must be maybe a dozen or so that I could share with her. I chose a great looking bound album at Borders, and yesterday, I spent about half a day going through all my stories and picking out about 20 pages worth of material, and then putting together a rough layout with pictures.

It was an interesting feeling, examining almost five years of your life in one sitting. I mean, for the most part, I’ve posted a journal entry at least two or three times a week, all this time. It kind of makes it pretty easy to chart the progress.

I guess what I’ve learned from looking at things from a big picture perspective is that my journal has undergone a dramatic shift in the past five years. The first half of my journal was really a period of loss and discovery for me, and, as a result, although I wouldn’t say it was hard for me to re-read (even if some of the postings were pretty rough), there were so many entries that were either full of anger, or…well, sadness.

And then, at what I consider my lowest point, the entries make an abrupt transition, and I go completely in the opposite direction. Of course, that’s the point where I met Corb. Right away, there’s a dramatic change in tone.

Oddly enough, I also realized that that's a point when I lost the interest of quite a few LJ friends who had, until that point, been frequent commentors. (On the other hand, since that time, I also have gained many, many other friends). It's funny how some people seem to thrive only on upset and sadness. I really do feel that there are people out there looking to feed off other people's pain and despair, such as what Josie and I went through. Once things started changing in my life, those folks had to move on to other pastures.

It's certainly not that the writing quality of my entries dipped. If anything, from what I can tell, it’s improved. At least, I find it more enjoyable to read, nowadays.

And of course, as I was reading through the journals, I was again impressed with the friends that have been there for so many years. Desi, and Don, and Dreamy, and Mouse, just for starters. I’m not trying to leave anyone out; those are just the top four that come to mind right now, who have been there since my first year of journaling online.

In any event, because of this project for my mother, I'm going to post a few of my favorite LJ stories these next few weeks. Just to remember!

For now, though, I’m going to bed...we just drove for five hours into New Jersey, and I’m tired. It’s time for some shut eye!
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