Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

No confessions please, we're British

As if shamelessly cheerleading for those nasty Republicans isn't enough, Fox sunk to an all-time low yesterday (in my opinion) by announcing that they plan to air an "unrestricted" interview with O.J. Simpson later in the month. Apparently, they want to spend some time with the big guy talking to him in graphic detail about how he would have killed Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman back in 1994—had he been so inclined. Yeah, if he wanted to. Do it, that is. Giggle. Which, of course, he didn't want to. Not really. Snicker. But, if he did. Just saying.

It's all being done to promote a book that OJ's coming out with: O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. In the interview, apparently, Simpson breaks down in tears while talking about the buckets of blood he imagines would have been spilling from the victims...HAD he been watching them get killed. Which he wasn't. Snorgle. Well, no, not really. It's all just a fantasy. A really graphically enhanced, beautiful, bloody fantasy.

Ummm...hello? Is this something I really need to see? I may not be able to tell you exactly what I'll be doing the night that this piece of crap airs, but I'll tell you one thing I WON'T be doing: actually watching it.

It boggles my mind that any network, or any book publisher, would have so little shame that they would actually try making a buck by letting O.J. Simpson play the coquette when it comes to the horrendous murders of his wife and her boyfriend. Talk about a scene straight out of the musical Chicago ! Now that enough time has allegedly passed, killer diller O.J. is looking to transform himself into this generation's Roxy Hart. Hot-cha!

I mean, I can see (I guess), O.J. trying to tell his side of what happened during the actual trial, but to go on a media turn to promote an alleged fantasy of what may have happened during the actual murders ? Isn't that coming so close to actually confessing that it almost borders on the psychopathic? And then, to receive a $3.5 million advance, accompanied by a publicity campaign that asks, "Will O.J. confess in his new book?" Gee, I don't know...let me think...the name of the book (appalling grammar issues notwithstanding) is "IF I did it..." Doesn't sound to me as though anyone's doing any confessing in that piece of crap.

I really wasn't certain what had actually happened, although I leaned toward the "O.J. is Guilty" camp. But with this stunt, I'm totally in that camp. Sitting at the camfire dangling a weenie over the fire, in fact. If he were truly innocent, there isn't any way he would ever have attempted something this crass.

I actually didn't mind the last Judith Regan "confession"...but that at least purported to actually be a confession. This is just a grisly tease, and it's one thing for O.J. to throw himself into it, but another thing for the PR machines that be to make a game out of an absolutely horrible murder. No thanks, I don't want to play that game.

On the other hand, it may usher in a whole new genre: The 'No Confession' novel. It's something similar to the Doris Day/Rock Hudson 'No Sex' movies from the sixties, only even more vile. I can't wait who will jump into the fray next...

Michael Jackson: If I Molested Young Boys, Here's the Way, Uh huh, Uh huh, I Like It.
George Bush: If We Were Actually Torturing Prisoners in Guatanomo, Here are My Favorite Water Boarding Techniques
Senator George Allen: If I Were Racist, Here Are Ten Other Things I Like to Say Besides Macaca
Clay Aiken: If I were gay, here's how I'd take it up the bum

Please, I urge you, don't encourage this sort of crap by actually watching it.
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