Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

"Is that all you're eating?" Corb asked me at around six last night, as he glanced at the hot crossed bun in my hand.

"No time for anything else. Too excited, and I have to get to rehearsal," I said. I was feeling rather confident, too, because I had had a great day at work.

At 9:30, with a half an hour to go in rehearsal, this all came crashing down. It was the first meeting--a readthrough--and suddenly, the fact that I hadn't eaten anything meaningful since one in the afternoon, and that I had spent the entire evening talking about the play, and that I had been on the run since six in the morning, and that I haven't been able to go to bed before one at night for five nights in a row, started to catch up on me. I started to feel dizzy and light headed, and had trouble focusing on the schedule in front of me.

I managed to get through the rest of rehearsal, and I think I hid it well, but then I had to go get some food right away. I decided to go out with a group of people from the show, which was a probably a mistake, because service was slow, and I didn't eat until 10:30. I made light small talk, trying to ignore a slightly disorienting feeling, a sense that I wasn't fully in the moment, but taking everything in from a slight distance.

I went and went to bed. Corb was already asleep. He woke up briefly and smiled at me. We said "I love you's" and then I drifted off to sleep.

Woke up at seven, still feeling exhausted. I continue to feel that slightly dizzy feeling, even as I type this. Words are not coming out as well as I would like. I've tried to eat a bit heavy, to shake this feeling.

This is not a good way to start rehearsals! And, I have the kids tonight, and will have to stay up late in order to put together a costume schedule. I'm meeting with the costume designer tomorrow night, and he can be particular. Always best to be prepared.

I can't wait for the next two months to be over. I love directing, I love the show, but I really think I have way too much on my plate right now. Of course, everyone at work is saying "I told you so."
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