Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

A NoCompromises Double Feature

Yesterday, Corb and I took the kids to see The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe .

Much has been made about the allegorical elements of the movie--that is, (according to good old, the representation of abstract ideas or principles by characters, figures, or events in narrative, dramatic, or pictorial form. And yes, it's quite clear, when you see this film, that they're there, if you're looking for them.

You see, this movie is clearly a good, old fashioned allegory about environmentalism. In it, the White Witch (who bears an amazing resemblance to a grown-up Paris from Gilmore Girls ) has taken over a rich, thriving land, and instituted oppressive policies that have stifled freedom of speech and thought, and have also laid waste to the environment. This White Witch is brutal to both her allies as well as her enemies, and intolerant of anything or anyone that does not agree with her desires. She also doesn't like to think things through very well.

My God! It's so clear to me. Well, I can see why some people would be offended. Especially Bush.

Seriously, having seen the movie, and after having read a bit about CS Lewis, I still think it's an imperfect Christian match. Save for the "Son of Adam/Daughter of Eve" references, the Christ comparison to Aslan is almost there, although it's kind of looking at an ugly girl by squinting your eyes and sort of crossing them so that your vision gets all blurry and she almost LOOKS pretty. It's there if you want to look for it, but there are all sorts of other interpretations one can make, too (including my perfectly legitimate environmental one).

What has amazed me, however, are some of the responses on other blogs about this topic. One guy actually wrote about this movie "Note to liberals - don’t see it if you believe that we are all 'good people' at heart. You simply won’t get it." Not only is that a gross misinterpretation of the movie, which clearly does deal with forgiveness of sin, it's also a misinterpretation of the New Testament, which is chock full of references to redemption, forgiveness, and the importance of turning the other cheek. Unfortunately, those elements have clearly been lost by the more narrow-minded of us.


The day before that, Corb and I, for no valid reason that I can find, saw "The Ringer."

Lo, I have finally found the most abysmal movie ever created by man.

In producing a movie about the mentally challenged, I didn't realize that the producers were going to take this to its logical extreme and actually make sure that the writers and directors of this piece of crud were mentally challenged, too. But they did! (Johnny Knoxville was a given. Who would have thought that lighting his balls on fire was actually a step up?)

Seriously, as I watched this film, I felt like one of the audience members shown in the "Springtime for Hitler" segment of The Producers . In fact, this is exactly what Bialystock and Bloom were looking to produce--a piece so awful, with such bad writing, direction and acting, that no one could possibly find anything good to say about it.

However, for the record, Corb and I actually did. See what good Christians we are! I enjoyed the fact that they included a Belle and Sebastian song quite prominently in the movie. As for Corb, about halfway through, he asked whether I had any popcorn left, and I reached down and handed him my leftovers. Corb told me that the utter rancidness of the film actually made the stale popcorn taste good in comparison.

And is it me, or is there a real racist edge to this film? They portray the "champion retard" as a black buff man with an entourage, who isn't noticeably mentally challenged, almost suggesting that Johnny Knoxville isn't the only one faking a disability, but nobody notices that or raises their voice in protest, because the champion is black. I don't know, I didn't like it.

Personally, I'm hoping that they consider a sequel: The Ring meets The Ringer . They could call it The Ringiest . In it, a mentally challenged young girl falls into a well, drowns, and takes up German expressionism in the afterlife. She produced a retarded film (not unlike the one shown in The Ring !> that secures a limited distribution deal. A young hot chick who teaches special needs students (when she's not busy appearing in Gray's Anatomy ) accidentally watches the video--which, because she's mentally challenged, has been produced in the shape of a triangle. The hot chick's boyfriend, played by Johnny Knoxville, watches the film with her, and, in response, sets his balls on fire. Occasional weak chuckles and watered down horror ensues.
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