Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

Confessions from a Wax Museum

I just couldn't couldn't stop myself.

Okay...this post is going to live a few different lives today. I want to try something different today, so I'm going to just keep updating this one post throughout the day, with pics and all, whenever I feel like it. I can't imagine that there will be many people who will click on this more than once to see all the changes, but just in case you're out there (and I know I am)...there you are...

Oh, look who just walked into this post! It's Madonna, talking to Corb about her latest horrible album!

"So, tell me, Madonna, why did you decide to put out a disc only a crystal meth addict could love?"

"Thanks for asking, Corb. I thought it was really really important to put something out that had a killer opening song, so I could basically repeat that song over and over, while using as many whirrs and buzzes and tones as I could. Oh, and also, I thought it was really important to dance around in a hideous pink exercise outfit that shows off my 50-year-old ass in as unflattering a light as possible."

"Whirrs and buzzes?"

"And electronic farts," giggles Madonna. "During 'Isaac,' I actually worked in my own flatulence, using a special 'sonic boom' synthesizer that we created just for the album. It was amazing, I tell you, simply amazing."

"Madonna, tell me about these insightful lyrics of yours. Rhyming New York with dork. Amazing lines like 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names they just don't hurt me.' Did you get that line from the Kabbalah?"

"No, actually, those lines were collaborative efforts with my children. They're simply AMAZING, I tell you. My God, it's like writing with a little me. Except, they keep their clothes on more than I do."

In this photo, Tiger's actually being forced to LISTEN to Madonna's newest offering. Look at the lines of terror etched on his face. He was actually chained to that chair, lest he run away, lost in madness. Look at those wild eyes, staring up at the ceiling, where images of Madonna are writhing around, doing splits and stretching out in her pink exercise outfit. CAN'T ANYONE SAVE THIS POOR HELPLESS BOY???

(Actually, I took the CD into work today, and listened to it for a few more times, and it's actually starting to grow on me, once I recovered from the initial shock of the putrid lyrics. However, my greatest musical pleasure today was the EP of "Step Into My Ofice, Baby." It's like blasting back to swinging London, baby!

I liked this exhibit, although Ashes was freaked out by it. She thought that Elvis the bartender was following her every move with her eyes. I was actually even more scared after we tried to leave the room, when we opened the door and there was Mother Theresa, reaching out to grab us. I don't know, something about her leper healing fingers really gave me the willies.

After we met up with the Mother, we experienced a bit of drama. The Monsters of the Wax Museum lay before us...Freddie Kruger and Jason and that, and Ashes totally lost it. She refused to go in, and actually ran all the way to the end of the exhibit, rather than waiting alone in the wax museum for the three guys to go through. In retrospect, I know where she was coming from.

Okay...that got me through the's 11:13 at night right now. I don't know whether this living journal thing entirely worked...but it was a fun experiment, at least.
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