Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

The other day, I was driving down Route One in the RAV, on my way to get a cup of coffee with Joycey, and I came upon a pet store with the following sign:

GIANT puppy sale!
Over 40 breeds

Curious, I pulled over and exited my car. I made my way to the entrance, but stopped for a moment when I heard a loud crash, followed by what sounded like a stampede of animals.

I entered the shop and was shocked to find the place in shambles, dog bones scattered across the room like twigs, leashes twisted into the ceiling fan, and the cash register knocked down onto the floor like a discarded blow up doll.

The sound of howling and yelping made it extremely hard to hear. They seemed to be coming from the back room. And there was another sound, a higher pitched noise. A scream, the scream of woman I immediately perceived to be 5 ft 4 and weighing 125 pounds.

Danger, Will Robinson! I burst into action, and jumped over the cash register and scrambled into the back room. There she was, a beautiful, brown eyed seductress dressed only in a lime green bikini. And she was surrounded by twelve of the fiercest looking puppies I had ever seen, each standing at least six feet high

"Aieeeee!" Even though she screamed in Spanish, she spoke the universal language of fear.

I looked around and reached for the nearest chainsaw, to save her from her predicament. Suddenly, one of the mutant radioactive larger-than-life puppies turned around to face me. He bared his teeth and started to lunge forward. I frantically fumbled to start up the chainsaw.

Oh gosh! Out of gasoline. Was I about to become a giant sized chew toy?

I quickly muttered under my breath a prayer to the patron saint of polyester and

(Transcript ends here)
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