(Spoke using the voice of Velma Kelly)
So I'm on gay.com tonight, just minding my own business, when this guy sends me an Instant Message, asking me all sorts of crap about what am I into, where do I live, blah blah blah, and then he says to me, he says, that he's a married man!
(Resumes normal voice)
Well, this got my attention.
So I asked him, "Does your wife know you're trying to hook up with guys?"
And he said, "No."
Well, let's just say that the guy kind of got an earful from me. I won't say that I yelled at him, but I did give him my feelings on whether it was really a good idea to be screwing around behind his wife's back. According to him, she knows nothing about his preference. He was bored and just "kind of" went on to gay.com about six months ago and hooked up with someone, and now he just can't get enough of the sausage. BUT he loves her a great deal.
It was actually quite a constructive conversation. I provided him some insights from my life and also made it quite clear that I think he needs to be very honest with his her and, if he can't right now, he should seriously consider therapy, just to have someone to talk this through. I also provided him with my email address should he have any questions or just needed someone to talk to.
Look, I've been there, although there was only one time that I wasn't entirely honest with Josie, and I told her the truth almost immediately after it happened.
He felt that there's no reason that his marriage should end because of this--"It's not like I'm beating my wife, or anything," he said.
I don't think he's thought this through completely. What happens when the day comes that she finds out what he's been up to at night? If he really loves her, he owes it to be up front about this.
Sorry. No compromises there. ;)