This year, Corb decided to put up three Christmas trees at Green Victoria.
He says it's a tradition he learned from a former boss at his work. "You put up a Christmas tree for every year that you've been living in your house."
I frowned. "What happens when you've been living there for 30 years? That's an awful lot of trees. Wouldn't your house start to look like a forest at that point?"
Corb laughed and brushed me aside. "Oh, it doesn't have to be 30 big trees. You can have trees of all shapes and sizes. Big ones that take up a corner of the room. Or small ones that you place on an end table. But right now, we are focusing on the big trees. So, since we've been here for three years, I need to add a third tree."
So, there you go. We have three trees. One is in our kitchen, which is pictured above. It's where we place all our holiday cards. Then we have our traditional tree--the fake one we've had for years, ever since we experimented with a live tree and didn't know how the hell to get rid of it, years ago. Our traditional tree is in the living room.
And now, we have a third tree, on our porch. Corb bought it for $35 from someone on Craigslist. It's not complete yet: he plans to surround it with Christmas presents made out of all the empty boxes from Amazon deliveries we have received. I'll post photos of the other two in the days ahead, promise.
So, three Christmas trees. Yes, we completely have holiday cheer coming out our asses.
In other news, we still have 17 partially dug holes in our backyard.
No surprise, I suppose, we gave up trying to dig out those holes and finally contacted the gay electrician. But between the Halloween craziness and planning our awesome Thanksgiving dinner, and all the work John was doing at the time, it took him a while to come over.
John said he could do it before the ground froze...but, well, now it's December and that ground seems pretty frozen to me.
"Just do it in the spring," Corb's boss told him, when he mentioned it yesterday.
"Our builder said the siding could become discolored if we wait until spring." Corb replied.
His boss (who is a bit of an asshole) looked at him as if he had two heads. "The siding could become discolored if you wait until spring," he repeated. "Isn't it outside siding? Why would it discolor?"
Hmm, interesting point. "But wouldn't the boards become warped if they sat in our driveway all winter?" Corb asked. "Don't we need to cover them up with a tarp?"
Again, same look. Two heads. "The boards will become warped if they sat in your driveway all winter," he repeated. "Aren't the boards for your outside deck? Why would they warp? Why would you need to cover them with a tarp?"
Gee thanks, asshole boss. You may have a point there.
Even so, we may still cover them with a tarp.