Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria
tedwords

Aim. Higher!

Sometimes I think my biggest problem in life is that while I am a very good tactician, when it comes to strategy, I am absolutely hopeless.

I mean, of course it is. Why else am I still unpublished? I can see and accomplish the task: write that book. However,  when it comes to the strategy: get published, I get lost. Life gets in the way. I focus on work stuff. Personal things come up. I direct a play, I start working on another story. I do not do the things that will allow me to achieve my goals. And that is frustrating.

I don't know. Maybe the part of my brain where strategic thinking rests atrophied when I was younger. Or, maybe it's possible that one can develop this skill. Maybe the truth lies somewhere in between.

I'm having this conversation with myself because I'm wrestling with this sort of thing at work right now, and finding myself dissatisfied with what I'm accomplishing...or suspecting that my boss is dissatisfied with, but maybe the truth is even deeper than that: working at this job for the rest of my life was never the goal. It wasn't even really the overall strategy. It was a means to an end: get a steady stream of income coming in. Then, fulfill your dreams.

I once had a one night stand who was an Eskimo. He was kind of deep, in some ways, and said that we could never be together because I spent too much time looking at the ground, and he was more interested in looking at the sky. I thought he was full of crap at the time, but maybe that's an elegant way of saying what I'm trying to put into words here. Aim. Higher!  

I just have to figure out how to do that, first. Give me a second...
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