This week-end, Corb and I spent a lot of time discussing the future, and where we both want to be. I won't lie, some of it was heated, and other times, it was a bit emotional (especially on my end, blubbering idiot that I am.)
Corb wants to move out of Eldredge in the worst way. It won't happen any time soon, because he needs to get his finances in order, but it will probably happen sooner than it can for me. I kind of have to stick around for at least three years more, for at least until Theo is in high school.
That means we have to plan for a long-distance relationship, if that's where things end up, and of course, that's a little scary. Some of the things that Corb's taken for granted (like me taking care of the finances) will have to change. Some of the things that I take for granted (like Corb doing the cooking) will have to change, too.
That's not a bad thing, really. It forces both of us to grow and learn new things. Nothing wrong with that. What's causing angst, I think, is that Corb's not entirely convinced that I will honestly want to head out of Eldredge when the times comes, given the ties that bind. Things like the kids and grandkids. Family obligations.
Also, we need to improve our communication with each other. Get things back to where they were about five years ago. We always bickered, but we've been doing too much bickering, lately. What used to be cute is now kind of annoying and sometimes, exhausting.
So, we've got a few challenges on the road ahead. I think this could be a good thing, though. In my bones, I kind of yearn for a few changes. To act, instead of not acting.
Speaking of not acting, tonight is the first read-through for Drowsy Chaperone. I am much looking forward, particularly because I know in my heart that this is my last production with the Eldredge Players. I keep this knowledge to myself, however, like a secret garden. They don't know need to know this until all is said and done, although it motivates me to make this show as enjoyabble as possible.