Although it's such a cliche, today these words have a special meaning for me. You see, this is the day my divorce with Josie becomes official. As of midnight, we are no longer man and wife.
It's bittersweet, to be certain, and I know that Josie feels a little sad, too. Yesterday, on her birthday, I called her up and offered to have a little party for her at my place. She declined, preferring to spend the night quietly with Andrew.
"Well, then I'll give you another gift," I teased. "I will allow the divorce to become official tomorrow."
"I don't think you could stop that if you tried, Ted."
"Sure I could! I could call up the court, right now. But for you, I won't."
"Thanks, Ted," she laughed. "I appreciate that."
I'm very happy we've managed to get through this and still remain such good friends. So, rather than being maudlin about things, I thought it be interesting to look back at my journal, to where we were eight years ago, right before everything changed in our lives.
I just wanted a sleepy entry, really...a day free of drama or strife. Lo and behold, I found one right away. I discovered a glimpse of what life was like back than...and a reminder (as if I needed one) that sometimes we start to lose value in the things that we have...and it's important to REMEMBER.
I still believe it's important to turn the tin in your life back into gold, whenever possible. Don't forget the things you cherish or you will surely lose them. Value what you have and also, what you've had. That's what gives our lives meaning, after all.
That's what makes life worth living.
"Gold Into Tin": Aug. 24th, 2002 at 9:27 PM
Tonight we'll be watching Amelie for the second time. I really loved Amelie when I saw it at the Cable Car in Providence last winter. It was really a cool movie.
There's one scene that I adore because there's a delightful element of incongruity--Nino Quincampoix is working at "Palace Video, King of Porno," and having a very tender discussion about Amelie, while surrounded by dildos that--I think--he was busy pricing. Nowhere are the dildos mentioned during the scene, of course, because in his world, this sea of substitute phalluses is just part of his scenery.
I think that this speaks to the amazing ability we have to adapt and even thrive despite whatever life foists upon us. Humans are blessed with the ability to assimilate, to transform the uncommon into the everyday.
For example, a few years ago, Josie took a lampshade that we were going to throw away (because the lamp had been broken), and placed a painting her brother had created into the shade's middle, and mounted it on the wall. Voila. Instant painting frame. And we laughed and thought, "Isn't that funny?" and after a while, it was just something else we had placed on the wall. To someone visiting our house for the first time, it's going to take them aback. To us, it's just home.
Of course, this applies on a larger scale, as well. Heartaches come, we are taken aback, but we assimilate, we move on. Children, lovers, friends enter our world--we marvel at their beauty, how they make us feel, how their laughter lights up our world, but gradually, even these things become more a part of our day to day and less a source of wonder.
But sometimes it's important to peel back the scenery and glance anew at something you've learned to take for granted.
Before that something fades out of the scenery altogether.