Well, the blessed birthday week-end went off without a hitch, thank you very much. Corb managed to surprise me on Friday night with a surprise party at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I walked into the room to find about a dozen friends and a martini waiting for me...that's a the kind of entrance I like!
My friend Traveling Sue the Celebrity Spotter was there. She handed me a book on "Cooking for Dummies," inspired by my last post. Then she said, "Oh my God, isn't that Nancy Kerrigan?" And off she went, to hunt down another celebrity.
And, my friend Buns had a story for me. You know me, I'm all about the stories.
"So, there was something I didn't tell you last Sunday," she said. We had gone to her house for a game party, the Sunday after Thanksgiving. "We're going to have to put Robert Redford down."
Kill Robert Redford, the hunky star of so many Hollywood movies, including The Way We Were ? How can that be, I hear you ask? Well, actually, she meant her dog, Robert Redford. He's a big old hyperactive thing that she picked up as a puppy, only about two years ago.
"Put down Robert Redford?" I asked, sort of shocked. "Why?"
"He bit Nathan," she said. "Drew blood."
"So you have to put him down?"
"That's what we've been told."
"I've never heard of such a thing," I said. "I mean, one incident?" Then I paused. "Was that why you didn't let Robert Redford inside the night of the party?"
Buns nodded. "I've been beside myself. I mean, he's a pain in the butt...way too hyperactive...but I really don't want to put him down."
"I can see why. Can't you do anything?"
Buns grinned. "Well, I was all set. Had everything planned. Robert Redford was supposed to be put down this week-end. But I was so unhappy about the whole thing, and so I called the animal rescue shelter that I originally got him from. And the lady there told me that it's their policy that they'll take back any animal that's in a situation like this, so that he isn't put down. So, I'm sending him back, this Thursday."
"Well, that's a relief," I said.
I'm glad that this story's going to have a happier ending, because I hate to hear about animals being put down like that...especially famous movie star celebrities. The only time we've had to have an animal put down was when Prince was suffering from cancer...oh, and the hamster that I accidentally dunked into a sink full of boiling hot water...don't ask, the memory of it haunts me still, and my oldest still hasn't forgiven me, even ten years later.
Still, pets become such a huge part of your life, and I'm sure that even though Robert Redford's going to be okay, Buns' house is going to feel kind of empty on Thursday.
This whole Robert Redford thing for some reason reminds me of a story that Buns told me, years ago. A while back, she was really into tracing her family roots, and she came across the story of a member of her family named Moosh. Moosh was a bit of a scoundrel. He would take off on his wife every so often to go on drinking benders, and one of those benders landed him in Florida, without any money or any way to get home.
Desperate to get back, he sent his wife a telegram, pretending that he had died, and would she pay to have his body shipped back home for burial?
Well, of course she would, and so she wired money down to ship the body. A few days later, she was at the train station, waiting for the coffin to arrive, and mourning the loss of her wayward husband. And you can just imagine her surprise when Moosh stepped off the train, alive and well.
Moosh's wife was beside herself. "The next time I get a telegram saying you've died, you'd better live up to your promise!" she screamed.
Well, there'll be no "come back Robert Redford" moments here, I suspect. Too bad, too...a dog sending a telegram and faking his own death. Now THAT would be quite a story.