Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria

Gene Rayburn for a day.

Oh, and another thing. There's one more secret I've been carrying around for a while...

Josie turned 40!

I don't think it's every ex-husband that would help organize a surprise party for his former wife, but that's what I did, with a lot of help from Annie. It was two weeks in the making.

After much discussion, we decided to hold it at Josie's house. I, being the egotist that I am, would have preferred a huge public celebration, but Annie wisely decided to secretly quiz her mother, and discovered that what Josie really wanted, more than anything in the world, was a small, intimate affair. Like one of so many of the game parties that we've held through the years. Go figure!

So, I sent out the invite, and Corb and I bought a crapload of decorations. Annie baked a delicious cake, and arranged for Andrew to get Josie out of the house at around four in the afternoon. And Saturday afternoon, we snuck a bunch of Josie's friends into the house while she was away, and...surprise!

Personally, I'm not sure how surprised she was. When we snuck into the place at four, the house was immaculate. I mean, ready-for-a-party immaculate. I mean, vacuuming the bedroom kind of immaculate. However, Josie tells me that that's what she always does on a Saturday. I'm not convinced.

I think my favororite part of the party, surprise surprise, was the game portion, which took us well into the evening...much to Corb's annoyance, as we had to wake up at four in the morning to head for Disney.

Since it was Josie's choice, we ended the evening by playing Tabloid Teasers, a game that I don't think you'll find at any toy store any more. It was available many years ago, and we've played so many times that the box that held it has long-since been destroyed. Josie found a version on-line a few years ago, though, in pristine condition, so we have a few more years of tabloiding to do.

Basically, it's kind of like the Match Game, except that what's on the card is an actual headline from a tabloid. So, you'll get "Man Eats Own Foot to Survive." What will be read is most of the headline, with a a "blank" strategically placed somewhere. So: "Man Eats ____ to Survive."

Everyone fills in an answer, and they can either try to play it seriously, or make up some ridiculous answer. Through the years, we've developed several themes that find to find their way back, over and over again. Fluffy butt cheeks, for example. The names of our parents in compromising positions is always a big feature. Doing push-ups in cucumber patches, another recurring theme. On Saturday, I was upset with the phrase "talking hoo ha." Which I'm not sure would be a nice thing for man to consume to survive.

Of course, as the night goes on, the answers get more and more scandalous. And funnier. There were even a few answers that get us laughing so hard we actually start crying.

Anyway, everyone was nice enough to let me serve as host for the entire game of Tabloid Teasers, which is my absolutely favorite thing in the world to do. Usually, you're supposed to pass the board around the room, but allowing me to be the host let me fulfill a long-coveted dream: I got to be Gene Rayburn!

I'm serious. When I was ten, if you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, that would have been my answer. I personally cannot think of a better occupation that holding four by six index cards in my hands, wearing a cheap leisure suit, and making smarmy comments about things like "Man Eats Blank to Survive."

Can someone please find me a gaggle of celebrities that I can host Match Game for?

Anyway, it was a fun night, and we stayed out way too late. Lots of laughter, good food, a surprise or two...and the scary prospect of a four o'clock morning drive to Logan Airport, looming in the distance, like the ominous rumbling of thunder of a humid summer day.

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