Especially this Sunday. Corb has been in the holiday spirit for the past week, and it's finally starting to grow on me, too. Frankly, I've been dreading Christmas, because between Disneyworld, Annie's wedding, and the money I paid this year toward the divorce, I'm living life on the lean side. However, Corb has really come into his own this year, and he's wiping that all away. He's already bought Theo's major Christmas present, and bought about four gifts for Ashes this week-end.
I have to admit, I've never experienced this before, and I like it. All my life, since I left my parents house, I've always been the financial heavy, the one who takes on the larger share of the bills. Now, having Corb actually taking over some of this burden, at a time when I'm totally just managing to keep my head above water...it's really, really nice.
I think it's hard for guys, though. I don't want this to sound sexist, but I think that a man's ego is somehow tied to his ability to pay for things. When he can't, he feels guilty and sort of diminished. So, I'm trying to break free of that feeling (because it may just be something I'm feeling because of the role I played for so long), and just enjoy OUR success. And it's finally starting to work!
I truly love the life we've built together. This is the way I want my life to be, forever.
Today, Corb's cleaning the attic so that we can set up the tree soon. I've been focusing on cleaning the apartment and laundry. ashes has been doing homework and obsessing over Twilight, and Theo's been helping Corb upstairs. The only thing I have to complain about is the smell of the kitty litter box...but I'm not feeling in the mood to go back to the supermarket, again.
Spent two hours working on rewrites this morning. If I can devote a few hours a day to inputting the changes I worked on this week, I should be good. But even then, you constantly see things you want to change. Does it sound true? Is it consistent? I'm find myself constantly asking myself those questions. Today, I looked at a list of list of interests one of my character posts to their web page and realized it was way too out-of-character for the character. I spent the next half an hour scouring through the Live Journals of 17-year-old girls to get a more authentic list of favorite things...
Corb located my Britney manger, upstairs. Might need to get to work on this year's model. But do I dare go through with what I planned?