Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria
tedwords

The gifts of the Corbi.



Friday afternoon, Corb spent the afternoon helping his Mom, as she finally started the process of moving out of Scott’s house, and into her new place with her fiancée, Jim.

As I was driving home from work, Corb gave me a call. “Mom had some really great things that she asked me to take off her hands,” he said excitedly. “The whole back of the car is full.”

“What kind of things, sweetie?” I asked, holding the cell phone to my ear while I opened my passenger’s side door to throw my laptop inside.

“She has this great antique box that she’s giving us,” he said. “It’s beautiful! You open it up, and the whole thing smells like cedar. I think it’s about 200 years old!”

“Ohhhhh,” I said, stopping suddenly. Corb had aroused my...spirit of mischief. “So, let me get this straight. You’re bringing home your mother’s smelly old box?”

“Yes, Ted, that’s exactly right,” he said, with his patented tone. “And I’m going to stick it in the living room, and everything.”

“Oh, good. You’re going to put your mother’s smelly old box in the living room, for everyone to see. Is it a big box, by any chance?”

“Huge,” he said, and paused for a moment. “Of course.”

“That should be quite a conversation piece,” I said. “Anything else?”

“Yes! She also gave me this antique chest, which I’m going to place in the corner, where we wanted to put the record player...”

“Wait, wait!” I cried out, even more amused. “So, your mother let you handle her chest?”

“Yes, Ted,” he said, sounding slightly irritated.

Pause.

“Does she have any huge knockers for you to bring home, too?” I asked, completely innocently.

Click.

The next afternoon, Corb called me, on his way home from work. I was whiling away the hours constructively downloading porn at the computer in the big bedroom. “You’ll never guess what one of the guests gave me today!” he said, excitedly. "Three beautiful garden pots, from Peru. They have these decorations on them, and they’re—“

“Wait, wait, wait!” I cried out, and I could hear him groaning. “You’re telling me that today, someone in your hotel handed you a mess of Peruvian pot? Corb, you have the most interesting life in the world!”

It makes me wonder, however. What call will I receive tomorrow? Is his sister-in-law going to give him a big furry beaver? Will one of his friend’s slip him a huge uncut salami? The possibilities are endless.

Here, by the way, is a picture of his mother’s chest, with the Peruvian pots placed on top of it. I tell you, does anyone ever wonder why Corb puts up with me?

My predictions on about who will get voted off AI, hidden for those who don't want/care to know



First off: was it really necessary for me to have to have my nightly entertainment interrupted with a visit from THAT MAN and his wife, reading off cue cards? And, even worse, during dinner?

American Idol is supposed to be a serene time. A happy time. A time to throw things at the TV every time Randy uses the word "dawg." It's not supposed to be a time when I should be forced to sit there and suffer through our Beloved Leader dreaming up a new PR opportunity for himself. Oh...that's right...I get it, now...he just vetoed the troop withdrawal bill. Most people won't know about that, though, right, if he shows up on American Idol?

Oh, and another thing: have I ever mentioned how much I dislike Bon Jovi? I don't think I've ever met a Bon Jovi song that I've ever even remotely liked. Most of them are just strings of cliches strung together by annoying choruses. Dead or Alive...Living on a Prayer...Runaway. Big fat huge wastes of space, the whole lot of them. Bon Jovi only shot to fame because he has nice hair and Bruce Springsteen took too much time off between albums. Jersey was getting restless.

(Oh, wait. There is one I actually like. "Who Says You Can't Go Home" is pretty good. Except for that annoying "S'allright, s'allright" crap in the middle of it.)

So you can imagine my feelings about this evening's show. That said, the clear winners were Melinda (once again) and Blake, of all people. Contrary to Bon Jovi's whining about "messing with a classic," Blake actually took a song I detest and made it palatable. I give him huge props for that one.

But the winner of this whole exercise has to be Melinda. She's just amazing, and has the ability to turn straw (or in this case, corn) into gold. The glare she ended the song with was just perfect.

My predictions for who will be voted off: Phil and LaKeesha. Phil should be obvious. LaKeesha just looks too stiff and uncomfortable to stick around for much longer. She has talent, but she's limited. I have yet see her truly break through, and I'm just not certain it's ever going to happen. Next to Melinda, she's a pale imitation.

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