Possibly the best part of the journey was the end of our second day, after the show was over. We traveled up 46 floors to the top of the Marriott Marquis and had drinks in the club, which had a revolving floor and a spectacular view of the New York skyline. See? You can see it reflected of the martini glass.
Corb’s mom and her hard-of-hearing boyfriend joined us, and we spent an hour trying to match the different buildings to the guide printed on our napkin. As all the talk about buildings wound down, our conversation drifted to meditation...and my friend, Psychic Sue.
I’ve been thinking about Psychic Sue a lot lately, mostly because we’re planning this production of Love Letters in New Hampshire. Or rather, she’s doing a lot of planning. Quite frankly, I have two long emails that I really need to reply to, and I’m feeling guilty, guilty, guilty, because I open them up and look at them, and say, “This is reminding me too much of directing a play!” and then my brain starts to shut down and do funny things, and so, I set it aside. But I’ve PROMISED myself that I will get those emails, sent Friday, done before the evening is done...I swear it!
Ahem. Sorry. Lost my head for a minute, there. But I wonder what Psychic Sue looks like, nowadays? I haven’t seen her in years.
Okay, I just finished my emails to Sue...actually, in rereading everything, it’s clear to me that Sue is doing way more work than I am, and just keeping me in the loop. Which is nice, actually. It’s nice to see her take the lead on this…checking out the space, securing staff, tracking down a tech crew. I feel as though I’m breezing into town for a one-night stand!
In fact, the whole thought of exercising my acting muscles is starting to excite me, after three years of directing. I tend to do that, however. I’ll find myself directing for a spell, exclusively, then getting involved with acting for a few years.
I like acting. With Sue, especially. I have fond memories of the dozen or so plays we have worked on together. Psychic Sue has a holistic method to acting. Our tradition is to smudge our performance area right before the show starts. Some people think we’re out of our minds, and they’re probably right. However…Sue has always been a good influence on my, acting wise. I could be somewhat mercurial in days gone by, and she had a nice way of grounding me. It will be nice to do something with her, now that the mercury poisoning has left my body.
Sue is a big fan of Shakti Gawain, and as I started typing this, I looked on her web site, and found this reading for January 7...
We create our own reality. We create our own reality every moment, whether or not we‘re conscious of it. If we‘re not conscious, we create it out of habit and old patterns. As we become more and more conscious, we are more able to create what we truly desire.
Hmmm. I like that. It’s true, especially when it comes to acting or writing. Every day, I make conscious decisions to focus on writing, or a play, or a Live Journal entry, or the kids, or Corb...or spend my time playing video games or watching Gilmore Girls.
I think I’ll take that as a sign. Time to go back to working on “The Late Night Show,” and getting my page done for the night. (Yes, only a page...I know, some places insist on that three pages a day thing...I think it’s perfectly fine to assign yourself the speed within which you wish to travel, and it’s not just about throwing content onto three pages, it’s about guiding the direction of those pages, too, and that’s what the page a day gives me...)
But that's the reality I'm choosing to create. A world where I can do it...nocompromises...where it's okay to say, "Okay, let's see where this adventure takes us"...and then, take it. And not to then feel boxed in, as if, like a cookie cutter, that's all you're capable of producing. That one, finite thing. No, it's okay to dive into directing, or acting, or writing, or creating insane Live Journal posts featuring giant weenies.
But that's just part of who I am. I've always hated the label game, violently so. It's true of my life, so of course it's going to be true of my art.
Although, I really want an endame on these novels. That I NEED to get done. Okay...visualization...creation...focus.
Oh! But anyway, back at “The View.” As we sat there, as I got pleasantly drunk on my chocolate martini, as I looked around at the couples, both straight and gay, all dressed up, all drinking, all laughing, enjoying the view of the skyline by candlelight, I had an overwhelming urge to be alone with Corb in this atmosphere, and a wish that we could be able to hold hands, to snuggle, and enjoy the view. And sure enough, Jim and Corb’s mom left soon enough, and we were able to spend some time together, and then go downstairs to our room for snuggle time.
Also, on a less romantic note, I found myself obsessively thinking about the martini in my hand, and the slow steady revolution of the floor below us. And I decided that it would be best if I just stuck with one martini. At that level of sobriety, the steady turning had a pleasant, soothing quality. At three or four martinis, well...the floor wouldn’t be the only thing turning...