Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria
tedwords

Red Light Special



"You were checking out guys at Stop and Shop," Corb said to me, as we stood in the kitchen, side by side, preparing for dinner.

I grinned sheepishly, trying to hide my smirk by hunching over the pot of red beans and rice I was stirring. "I was not!"

"You were. Don't think that I didn't see. You were checking out the guy who was leaning on his shopping cart, sticking his butt out. You were staring at his legs."

Gulp.


Well, I am a leg man. And he did have a nice face, although I'll be honest, his legs were a bit too beefy for me. "No. No, really. I wasn't."

"And you were checking out the boy walking down the front aisle, as we were moving to the checkout counter."

I hunched down even lower over the pot of beans. I had to admit, there had been a few cute guys at Stop and Shop tonight. Most of them had gym shorts on. It's a combination I've always found hard to resist.

I tried to turn the tables on my accuser, knowing that he had me trapped in a corner. "Well, you were looking at guys, too!"

Corb smiled that gentle smile of his, and shook his head. "Naaaah. You know I never look at guys my own age."

"I wasn't talking about the guys your age. I saw you, checking out the 80-year-old guy shuffling down the aisle in his walker. I saw you!"

Corb held up his hands. "You got me! Yes I was checking out his liver spots. They're such a turn-on. I was hoping he would put his wrinkled shriveled ball sack in my mouth."

I laughed and continued stirring.

I guess it's true, however. I'm not blatant about it, but I do like to enjoy the scenery every now and then. I would never cheat, or stray outside the relationship--believe me when I say, I'm just not built that way. None of that nonsense about having an open relationship, or going to clubs to trade passionate kisses with other men while my real man stays at home. On the other hand, as Daniel says, I'm also not dead, yet.

Ironically, Josie sent me the following joke, at the same time we were having this conversation:

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.


I emailed her back: "So true, so true! Corb was just giving me hell because he says I was checking out cute guys at Stop and Shop!"

To which she replied: "Well, were you?"

I couldn't resist. "Sigh. Josie, how many years have you known me? What do you think?"

Her reply was pretty speedy:

I think

that

Corbett

HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU!!!!


***

For those of you living in the lovely commonwealth of Massachusetts, I don't know if you've noticed, but I started noticing "paid political announcements" on television today.

The Republican candidate for governor doesn't much impress me (big surprise.) He started off with a list of reasons why his opponent was a no-good bum, and then ended his diatribe with, "With values like these, is it no wonder we haven't trusted a Democrat to this office in years?"

Word to the wise: I don't think that's the way to win over voters in this heavily Democratic state, especially in a year such as this, with Republican discontent practically bubbling over. My feeling is, he'd be better off toning down the fiery rhetoric and positioning himself more in the middle.

The Democratic candidate placed his ad right after his opponent. What amused me about his advertisement was how downright Clintonian he was trying to be. Seriously, he had all the moves down, especially the patented thumb over the left fist, which he would punch out at certain key points, for emphasis.

Hey, nothing wrong with emulating my man Bill.

###

I am really disturbed by Yahoo News promoting the headline "Crocodile Hunter Death Caught on Tape." I mean, I suspected yesterday that the sequence had most likely been videotaped, but I hardly expected that they would start promoting that videotape so shortly after his death. It just seems a bit sensationalistic to me.

Personally, I don't want to see it. It has all the appeal of watching people stuck in the Twin Towers plunging to their death after the airplanes struck. But human nature being what it is, it doesn't surprise me it's being promoted. We haven't come that far from the days of the Roman Colosseum, after all. Except for the fact that we're a few gods short.

###

Buzzing around my subconscious...my poor broken down car...grateful to Corb for letting me drive his car to work...the load of writing assignments I have at work...the kid's first day of school tomorrow...gratefulness to my father...thanks, Dad!
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