So, I had to sing tonight.
I put on a happy face, but I had known that it was something that I should have said no to from the start. With me, if my heart's not into something, then it's just not going to be any good. I'm simply incapable of "half" doing anything.
It was for a retirement party, a work engagement. I don't really know the guy very well, and with the play taking so much out of me, I knew that I wasn't going to have much time to practice. But even so, I had the lyrics two nights ago, and even with rehearsal Tuesday night, I should have practiced on Wednesday. I had taken the day off to look after the kids, after all. It was only one song, and even without the music, I could have had it down in shape for today.
But I didn't feel like taking the lyrics home. I figured could cram today, and besides, they'd have a prompter. No sweat, right?
No prompter, today.
Really, I only screwed up the first two lines, and that was because my singing partner and I were bantering back and forth. Even so, on an American Idol scale, Simon would have deeemed me an American Idiot.
My heart just wasn't into it. To my credit, though, I decided to let go, laugh it off, and try to have some fun. It's not as though I was getting paid for the gig. Thank god...they would have demanded their money back!
It was probably the worst performance I've given since I was a senior in college. I had been charged by my music teacher to sing a song in French at our Spring recital. But between taking seven classes, interning at Trinity, and working twenty hours a week, I had little time to practice.
The day of the recital, I was up at the crack of dawn to work my part time job. I left work at two, to change quickly and drive to the recital. I looked over my song a few times, and felt somewhat confident...well, no, not really...
I arrived at the recital hall. I waited patiently. It was my turn to sing. I slowly walked to the stage. My teacher started the opening chords of the song. I opened my mouth.
And the words to the song completely fell out of my head.
In desperation, I thought to myself, "Well, it's in French. Half the people won't know the words, anyway, right?" So, I proceeded to sing in gibberish for the entire song.
Well, you have to admit, it was a CREATIVE solution, at least. I didn't burst into tears and run off the stage. I didn't curse and ask to start over again. I just made up nonsense words and plodded through the song. It probably made some sense to someone on another planet, too. Who knows?
In retrospect, having told that story, I realize that tonight wasn't even close to that. Although it also wasn't half as creative.
Just a reminder: don't allow yourself to get roped into things you don't feel passionate about.