"No time for anything else. Too excited, and I have to get to rehearsal," I said. I was feeling rather confident, too, because I had had a great day at work.
At 9:30, with a half an hour to go in rehearsal, this all came crashing down. It was the first meeting--a readthrough--and suddenly, the fact that I hadn't eaten anything meaningful since one in the afternoon, and that I had spent the entire evening talking about the play, and that I had been on the run since six in the morning, and that I haven't been able to go to bed before one at night for five nights in a row, started to catch up on me. I started to feel dizzy and light headed, and had trouble focusing on the schedule in front of me.
I managed to get through the rest of rehearsal, and I think I hid it well, but then I had to go get some food right away. I decided to go out with a group of people from the show, which was a probably a mistake, because service was slow, and I didn't eat until 10:30. I made light small talk, trying to ignore a slightly disorienting feeling, a sense that I wasn't fully in the moment, but taking everything in from a slight distance.
I went and went to bed. Corb was already asleep. He woke up briefly and smiled at me. We said "I love you's" and then I drifted off to sleep.
Woke up at seven, still feeling exhausted. I continue to feel that slightly dizzy feeling, even as I type this. Words are not coming out as well as I would like. I've tried to eat a bit heavy, to shake this feeling.
This is not a good way to start rehearsals! And, I have the kids tonight, and will have to stay up late in order to put together a costume schedule. I'm meeting with the costume designer tomorrow night, and he can be particular. Always best to be prepared.
I can't wait for the next two months to be over. I love directing, I love the show, but I really think I have way too much on my plate right now. Of course, everyone at work is saying "I told you so."