Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria
tedwords

Last night Corb and I went out with his family to celebrate his Mom's birthday. We went to an Italian restaurant called Porta Bellos . I'm not a huge Italian food fan, and after our week of gastric distress, it wasn't the best idea in the world. And besides, this restaurant was cold and dark. It reminded me of a cave.

Needless to say, we both were in agony last night, Corb particularly. I won't describe his symptoms, but it was enough for him to try and call out of work today. They wouldn't let him, but did allow him to work a reduced shift.

However, the girl who relieved him, Amanda, was less than happy with the situation. "She says I've changed," he told me when he arrived home. "She says I used to given 110 percent, but now that I'm dating you, I've become a slacker."

"How long has she worked there?" I asked.

"Six months," he replied.

"That's funny. We've been together longer than that," I replied.

"She says I'm taking on responsibilities for things I shouldn't be taking on, and everyone's talking about it."

"Such as what?"

"Your kids," he replied.

Now that one I found amazing. First off, what he does with my kids has nothing to do with his work, but let's take it one step farther. How about if the shoe had been on the other foot? How about if Amanda was the one involved with a man with children, and Corb had made that remark to her?

We all know what would occur. That would have been deemed an inappropriate remark and Corb could have gotten in some trouble for it. But because the situation is different, and is what it is, it's okay for her to get away with it.

I don't know. I get so tired of that attitide. It's almost as though people expect that because one is a "certain way," then their morals and desire for a normal life, by necessity, much change. Guess what? I was a family guy for all of my life, and I still am. And so is Corb, I can see it in everything he does.

The flip side of this is my buddy Daniel, who wants me to descend down a few levels of hell with him, who wants me to assume his lifestyle, and have two or three guys every week. The meager days that I lived that life I was totally miserable and alone and unhappy, and yet, when I told him that I had found someone and wouldn't be going out with him any more, he grew all angry and said, "he's going to leave you some day, you know. It's just a matter of time."

Again, he missed the point. My status with Corb has nothing to do with what I was really trying to say, which was, my values, what makes me tick, what gives my life meaning, are not the same as yours, even if we are united in sexual orientation. One size does not fit all, and whether you're on the outside looking in (like Amanda) or on the inside trying to keep me stuck in just another closet, you don't stand in my shoes.

I hope this doesn't sound like a rant, because it's really not. What I've learned in life is that the old cliche is true: actions speak louder than words. Hold your life up as an example, work hard, and keep your mind focused on the goal at hand. The Amandas and Daniels of this world are just the side show, so don't allow yourself to get distracted.
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