Last night was a tough one with Nana. I went to the hospital, and saw her alone--again. She was laying on the bed on her side, and looked to me like a wounded bird.
She didn't recognize me at first, but was clearly more alert. I said my name and her eyes widened.
"Oh, Teddy," she said. "You're looking good, Teddy."
I grinned and tried to stay upbeat. "Thanks. I'm looking okay, for 38."
She looked confused. "How old am I?" she asked.
"You're 90, Nana," I replied.
"And how's your wife, Teddy?"
"She's fine. She's not here right now, Nana."
"Oh," she said, and nodded. I learned forward and patted her thin gray hair. "She must be upstairs." I was confused, but then realized she thought she was at the old house.
"Yeah, she is."
"And how old are the kids?"
"18, 10, and 7, Nana. Annie's going off to college. She's going to be a cook! She's going to Johnson and Wales."
"Johnson and Wales University."
"Oh," she nodded and closed her eyes. "I don't know what that is." She opened her eyes and grabbed my hand, and pulled me closer. "I always loved you, Teddy. Always."
I tried not to cry. "I know, Nana."
"Thanks for coming, Teddy. It was nice seeing you. Goodbye, Teddy." And then she pulled me even closer and kissed me on the forehead.
I told her I was going to look for Mom and Dad and return, but couldn't find them. Turns out they had left the place. As always happens, I needed to talk to someone after visiting Nana, so I called my brother and cried for about ten minutes.