1. Name five things in your refrigerator.
A decomposing cow skull borrowed from David Lynch, some thumbtacks, barbed wire, a 10-foot long blow up doll, and (oh, look, so that's where that thing went!) a framed and autographed picture of OJ Simpson.
2. Name five things in your freezer.
The Elephant Man, a snowball from when I was five year's old, a small Eskimo, one of Pam Anderson's original implants, and a corn dog (made of corns from people's feet. Woof!)
3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.
The brain of Albert Einstein packaged in formaldehyde, a golden spoon plucked from the mouth of Prince Albert, the stick that Tonya Harding used on Nancy Kerrigan's knee, a roach motel (with a No Vacancy sign on it), and someone's underwear (I forget who).
4. Name five things around your computer.
Yesterday's whiskers, "The Collected Poetry of Paul Lynde," "Shaving your Head For Dummies," a postcard from Chi-Chi's Bar and Grill, and some brimstone from the depths of Hell.
5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.
A jumbo package of Yoohoo flavored Ex-Lax, some ear wax, some bikini wax (for those special evenings), a fax machine, and an alto sax. Ack!