Snapshots from Green Victoria (tedwords) wrote,
Snapshots from Green Victoria
tedwords

Every morning five...er, six...er, seven...

I wake up, I rub my eyes, crawl out of bed, shower, dress...

Step outside the house...

And there, on the front steps...

Gazing up at me with lifeless eyes...

The remains of some dead conquest that my cats tangled with the night before, which those ferocious felines have proudly brought home to display to their loved ones.

And what do I do with these prizes of war?

I pick a leaf from a plant and delicately grab the tail of whatever small creature rests before me. And then I hurl the small creature into the woods.

And I ask you: is this fair to my cats?

They've worked hard to shower me with these hard-fought conquests, and what am I, their ungrateful owner, doing to show my appreciation?

That's why, starting tomorrow, I have decided to instead share in their triumph and institute a new policy! Instead of flinging these mangled Mickey Mouses away, I shall be rewarding their carcasses places of honor in my garden. I shall plant them neatly, a few inches apart from each other, and attach them to popsicle sticks using duct tape. Some I may even dress up in Barbie dolls. In fact, for some, I may go hog wild and even try to dress them up like famous movie stars.

I sure hope that my cats will appreciate all this effort!
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