I came home from work and Josie and I had our nightly pow-wow in the kitchen. We truly are getting along so well right now. We joke, we hug, we don't bicker. Last night, when we were walking the dog, she threw her arms around me and tried to knock me to the ground. I don't want to jinx it, but things have been so--functional. Loving. I pray that we can remain this way. I never want to let this go.
As I was leaving for my night out, she asked, "Where will you be going?"
"Oh, I don't know," I said. "Not certain, really. I'm going to call Michael, because he called last night, and then I'll call Liz about Friday."
"Oh, Michael," she said, her eyes gleaming, and she said his name using that, "You think he's special" tone. She knows how I feel about Michael, and I know that I've mentioned it in this journal before, so I won't get started about his beautiful blue eyes, blond hair, strong chin...oh, wait, I'll stop now.n Honest.
"Something tells me you'll be ending up in Boston tonight," she continued. Michael now lives in Boston.
"I will not!" I replied. "We're just friends, you know that." And she does know that. Brat. Michael is also one of the most intelligent, insightful guys I know, and the first straight guy I've opened up to. He also seems to attract gay guys. His best friend in high school was gay and another guy in Atlanta that he's still good friends with came out to him about seven years ago--first guy he told.
I ended up in Boston.
Michael and I started talking in the car and decided to meet halfway, near the Braintree Mall. Went to a bar. Drank beer. Watched the Red Sox. Hung out. I talked about being gay. You know, typical guy stuff.
But before going there, I called my brother Tommy, for reccomendations regarding a good place to drink. I mentioned I was going to see Michael.
"Is he who you've been dating for five months?" Tommy asked.
Hmm. Well, I never attached a gender to that date, now, did I? Okay, well...deep breath.
"No, not at all," I replied. Then paused. deeper breath. "That's Peter."
And we had the most wonderful conversation. He told me he loves me and only wants for me to be happy, and only wants for Josie to be happy, and he admires us for trying to work this out amicably and keep the family intact and still be the best of friends, and how he just wants to be my friend and suspected I've been looking to tell him for some time and any way that he can help he's be more than happy and he agreed to look after one of our kids overnight so we can go away soon and talk things through and is there anything else he can do to help with this transition? And then he invited Peter to go with me and him and Mal to a concert we're attending in June (our mutual idol, Brian Wilson), and I thanked him, but said no, but it was such a blast, being so open with a family member and him being so caring and understanding, and WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SCARED OF IN THE FIRST PLACE???
I'm very happy tonight. Very peaceful. Very calm. Things feel just...well, just right.
And no, Josie, I did nothing more than hug Michael tonight. I'm almost 75 percent certain that he's straight.
(Josie will see for herself when we travel to Boston Friday night, to go out drinking with Michael and Lizard and twenty of her friends to Jake Ivory's...)